Death has been on my mind a lot this year. Many people around me have been faced with the deaths of loved ones, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I too am secretly anticipating with dread when death will strike someone around me. I am no different from the people around me, some are better people and some are worse, but death visits everyone.
Pain, grief, denial and acceptance are all words associated with the process we go through after the death of a loved one. However, one word we do not hear frequently is celebration. We seem to get so caught up in the loss that we face that we forget to celebrate our memories of the person. We forget to reminisce about the unique qualities that our loved one possessed and the gifts they gave us.
The western world has always viewed death as something to be feared. It is an uncertain place that is filled with the shadows of our subconscious minds. Time cannot be stopped, but this also means that the processes of time cannot be stopped. Birth, life, death and rebirth, which is a Christian idea, are a part of a powerful and beautifully complex process, which at times can be stunningly painful.
I am sad that my parents must get older, but I am also thrilled that as they age I will be able to begin my own family. I hope to someday marry and have children. I also hope to be writer and help the world with some of its struggles, but these events can only come with time, experience and maturational processes. I will hand down my love and experience to my children as I hope they will to their children.
We all have the ability to influence the world while we are hear, whether it be by having faith the size of a mustard seed or leading a revolution that helps people to learn how to be in a loving relationship amongst themselves and with the holy. Jesus’ life was about the here and now of how to live in a community of other people. We are in the season of advent right now, an anticipation of a birth. I would ask, however, that we remember the love and humility of Jesus throughout the year, whether it is in seasons of birth, life, death or rebirth. Once we discover that we are apart of a life cycle that is bigger than ourselves, we will begin the healing process that is necessary when we lose someone we love.

Not too much to say and since I know whatever I write will not be nearly as beautiful or profound as Jen’s latest entry, I’ll just share some fun pictures with you all! I’m done with finals by the way!

So here are the fun projects I've been working on lately... This is the white elephant gift I made for a party I'm going to tonight. And this is another fun thing I made during one my more boring classes (I gave it eyes later). Here is my patriotic pup! (Dora)

Oh and here is a funny video of Dora's first experience w/ sleet/snow!

A picture is worth a thousand words. So how many do you think a video is worth?

Merry Christmas!!!

Right now, through a picture window in my kitchen, I am watching the rain pour down. This storm is frightening and daunting. The trees and branches are shaking and swaying in the wind, people are running by, trying in vain not to get soaked and my dog is hiding under the table, scared of the thunder. At the same time, this storm is absolutely beautiful; it is renewing and life-giving and it seems to make everything it touches new and whole again. This dichotomy is amazing to me, that something that seems so terrifying can also fill me with such awe and wonder. This terrible storm is creating a new earth. So what about the storms in my life? Is this dichotomy also present there? It seems so easy to see only the alarming and upsetting winds, rains, and thunder that happen in my personal life, but do I ever look for the rainbow that comes after the storm, the rainbow that is a physical representation of God’s undying love and care for me? It is not always something that I am looking for; rather, when I am in the midst of a terrible storm, I often forget that there is, or ever was, a rainbow waiting for me after the storm. God’s love and care is always there, during the storm and after, embracing each one of us in a blanket of love, drying us off and warming us up when the wind, rain and thunder stop. God is working hard to create a new earth in and through us and even though it sometimes seems too hard to continue on through the storm, God’s rainbow will be there after the storm, as it was in the beginning, is now and will be forever.

I am listening to Christmas music as I procrastinate on the homily I have to write for this Sunday’s Vespers service at Macalester’s Chapel. I gave the homily for the Second Sunday of Advent last year, too, but this feeling of responsibility is no lighter this year than last.

I am trying to reconcile the end of this semester with the plethora of new things that have emerged in the last few weeks. As we prepare for Christmas and prepare our hearts for the coming of Christ, how can we calm our minds and our bodies enough to appreciate the divine peace that can pervade this season? Maybe I can write about “calm” because I am listening to a ten-second-long high note in “O Holy Night;” in reality, holidays, and this holiday in particular, can be painful or filled with lonely times of anything but peace and quiet. This time of year, responsibilities extend beyond final exams and final projects: somehow, we – I – have to think beyond the today in our own lives, to think about the tomorrow in the whole world.

This song is on repeat. I think by retreating into this soaring music, I’m procrastinating on really wrapping my mind around the big ideas I still have to tackle before winter break – before Christmas is over and winter is about frigid wind and dangerous ice, not about joy and peace. There’s no reason, though, why every season can’t be about joy and peace – and that seems like a gigantic responsibility.

I still have no idea what I’m going to write the homily about – maybe I’ll sink into this song one more time and let it rock my soul a little longer.

"...Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results." (anon)

http://www.myspace.com/worldaidsday

I am so hungry right now...it's not even funny. This lady was breast feeding her baby on the train the other day and she just so happened to be sitting in front of me. I wish that every time I am hungry someone would just feed me. I guess that is why it says in the Bible we should be like children. Christ said, "allow the children to come unto me and forbid them not, for such is the kingdom of heaven." If we are truly attempting to achieve heaven on earth, we must be like little children, always hungry. In God's word it says they that hunger and thirst for righteousness shall be filled...so here I sit...hungry. As a matter fact, I am starving, waiting for my next meal. It's not going to come from somebody else, I gotta get it myself. I think about all the times I would be in my dorm room wishing a sister had some ramen noodles, or some pb-'n-j, all the nights i go to sleep hungry. I'm turning over a new leaf! Today is a brand new day...and, God must be tired of spoon feeding me...