I am listening to Christmas music as I procrastinate on the homily I have to write for this Sunday’s Vespers service at Macalester’s Chapel. I gave the homily for the Second Sunday of Advent last year, too, but this feeling of responsibility is no lighter this year than last.

I am trying to reconcile the end of this semester with the plethora of new things that have emerged in the last few weeks. As we prepare for Christmas and prepare our hearts for the coming of Christ, how can we calm our minds and our bodies enough to appreciate the divine peace that can pervade this season? Maybe I can write about “calm” because I am listening to a ten-second-long high note in “O Holy Night;” in reality, holidays, and this holiday in particular, can be painful or filled with lonely times of anything but peace and quiet. This time of year, responsibilities extend beyond final exams and final projects: somehow, we – I – have to think beyond the today in our own lives, to think about the tomorrow in the whole world.

This song is on repeat. I think by retreating into this soaring music, I’m procrastinating on really wrapping my mind around the big ideas I still have to tackle before winter break – before Christmas is over and winter is about frigid wind and dangerous ice, not about joy and peace. There’s no reason, though, why every season can’t be about joy and peace – and that seems like a gigantic responsibility.

I still have no idea what I’m going to write the homily about – maybe I’ll sink into this song one more time and let it rock my soul a little longer.