The Mother's Day Proclamation
by Julia Ward Howe

Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts,
Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!

Say firmly:
"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated
Earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

One of the earliest calls to celebrate Mother's Day, this proclamation was written in 1870.

A free t-shirt to the reader who guesses where I was when I heard the following this past weekend (from two separate men):

Man #1: "Hello, beautiful."

Man #2: "How do you keep your cute little figure? You must work hard at it."


Any guesses?

A bar? A party? A dance club?

Correct answer: Church.

That's right. Church. My church. Where my husband serves as pastor.

The first line was technically delivered after the service was over, as I was walking to get in line for the potluck being held that day. The second line was delivered right smack in the middle of worship, as I was walking up to the communion table. It came from the man I had been sitting next to all service, a man who was now standing behind me as we filed into line.

I didn't know how to respond to either of these comments. It's not that I didn't know how they made me feel: they both made me uncomfortable, and the second comment in particular made me feel quite vulnerable. (What part of my "cute little figure" was he looking at as he decided to pose his question to me?)

Had I been at work or in public, I probably would have responded with a polite yet firm "Please call me Ms. Gulden" to the first comment or "That's an inappropriate question" to the second. But instead I offerered only an annoyed sigh.

Why is that? Why didn't I know how to repond to these comments in my own church? Why do I think I would have reponded differently in a different context?

I seem to have a similarly difficult time standing up to such comments (directed either at me or at others) when they originate from members of my family or my husband's family. Again, why is that?

I talked with my husband after church about these two incidents, and he and I agreed that we both need to address such comments head-on when we hear them. I, as a woman, need to continue to learn how to assert myself and demand basic respect from others. He, as a man, needs to talk to other men and help them to understand why such comments are harmful and unacceptable.

But it needs to move beyond that. The church as a whole needs to remember that sexim and racism and other forms of discrimination are real. And they are alive and well in the church. We need to continue to struggle with how to rid our communities of these sins so that we can truly become the community that God created us to be: the beloved community, a community of justice and wholeness and peace--shalom.