For those of you who have never met me, I am a perfectionist.

For those of you who have met me, could that be more obvious?

You've heard the saying, "Don't let the good be the enemy of the great," right? Well my problem is letting the great (or perfect) become the enemy of the good (or imperfect).

My husband/partner, John, and I have recently begun a nightly discipline of reading scripture together, beginning in the book of Acts. We are practicing the ancient discipline of lectio divina, or holy reading, a contemplative reading of scripture that seeks connection with God.

Being the Bible nerd that I am (once upon a time I wanted to teach Old Testament; still do some days), I tend toward analyzation of the text rather than spiritual contemplation. Last night we read Acts 2:37-47. This passage, which talks about the very beginnings of the early church, totally facsinates me. When it was my turn to reflect on the passage, I couldn't stop talking. Of course, most of what I had to say wasn't very contemplative, but focused instead on asking questions about what it means to be church.

In my refecting, I realized that I have let the idea of a great and/or perfect church become an enemy of a good and imperfect church. I realized that I am looking for a very clear-cut answer of what it means to be "true" church--I'm looking for an instruction book of sorts. In some ways that's what I've grown up thinking the books of Acts was meant to be.

We're not there yet, but not too long and we will hit the part in the book of Acts where the disciples themselves start to develop different ideas about what it means to be church. From the very beginning of our story, the church has been trying to figure out what it means to be church. And the struggle continues: we saw that a few short weeks ago at GA. There is no clear cut answer. We have guides, such as the Bible and the Holy Spirit, but we will continue to disagree about what we think these guides are saying to us, just as the disciples did. And I'm learning that that's okay. There is no perfect church, not at least on this side of eternity. What we have is a little chaotic, and more than a little imperfect, but it is still church.

And the best way to continue figuring out how to be a faithful (not a perfect!) church is to get in and join the story. I'm still often tempted to step back and analyze from a distance, in hopes of finding a clean and effective model for the perfect church, but I'm actively resisting that tempatation. I'm just going to jump in and start messing up with the best of them...

noelle

Noelle, that was such a timely message. I have been thinking along similar lines but you said it better.

Rachael,

Thank you for your comment and your compliment. It's nice to know that others are thinking along the same lines. I'm hearing that from many different places, so we're definitely not alone!

Blessings,
Noelle

preach it sister. :)