And here we are, on the other side.

Yes, the reduction in force has happened, and now we see behind the curtain. On paper, 75 staff positions were eliminated today. Perhaps the most prominent were the drastic cuts in several of the denomination’s top leadership positions, signaling a restructuring that will get rid of the divisions that now classify our work on the organizational chart. The other area hit hard was the Worldwide Ministries Division, who has to cut 55 overseas mission personnel and much of the staff here in Louisville that supported them.

In terms of young adult ministries, we did lose the person in Congregational Ministries Division that works with young adult ministries. We also lost the longtime staff person for one of the offices that originally gave birth to NNPCW back in 1993, the Office of Social Justice and Corporate Witness. There are others, too.

The good news for us is that Women’s Ministries, after losing ten staff positions in 2004, managed to hold on to all eight of us this time around, including the staff for NNPCW and REYWT. Collegiate Ministries, another program near and dear to many of you, is also still here.

But you can read all that from the Presbyterian News Service. What they won’t tell you, though, is what it is like to be here today.

Mary Elva was close on my heels this morning when I got in to my office at 8 am. I said to her, in a somewhat weak voice, “So, you’ve got the letters already?” But she met me with a smile. “It’s good news,” she said.

She quickly let me in on the news that all of our little brood would be around for a while longer. For me, I was grateful that this wouldn’t be a repeat of 2004, when Gusti and I sat in my cube and watched Robin, NNPCW’s administrative assistant, pass by us on her way to be told she had lost her job.

The rest of the morning was comprised primarily of venturing out to discover who was gone and who was still here. I actually left that part to the interns, who had closer connections to other parts of the building. It was through the Women’s Advocacy intern that I first heard about how hard-hit Worldwide Ministries was, as well as the loss of the Young Adult Ministries office. We then pooled our information in a 9:15 am staff meeting, when we heard that partners like Racial Ethnic Ministries, Collegiate, and the National Volunteers Office would be okay on the whole. Some, however, had lost specific people within their crew.

The day has been kind of bizarre—running into people and greeting them not with, “How are you?” but “Are you okay?” in allusion to their job status. For the people who say yes, there is a shared expression of relief, that timid smile of a fellow survivor.

And for the others?? Talking to a “Riffed” person is kind of like greeting the family at a funeral, except that you’re talking to the corpse instead of the relatives. You’re not quite sure what to say to them, so you fill the awkward silence with sympathetic looks and heartfelt hugs. Like many people, I don’t know the best words of comfort for people dealing with loss. It makes me glad I work in a building full of ministers who took classes in pastoral care.

I ate lunch today on the mezzanine that overlooks the back entrance to the Center. I saw a woman down there, Worldwide Ministries employee, someone who I took some management training classes with last fall and who goes to my church now—she couldn’t have been here more than a year. And she was using carts to haul her stuff out in boxes.

Some of the people I’ve talked to today ask how morale is around here. We are hanging in there, and definitely feeling the prayers of our sisters and brothers in the larger church. But even as we know we’re entering into a new way of doing ministry, a new role for the national church, we can’t help but grieve for the old way. It is the church we love and the church we’ve served. And we still don’t know what phoenix will rise from its ashes.

“A voice was heard in Ramah,
wailing and loud lamentation,
Rachel weeping for her children;
she refused to be consoled,
because they are no more.”
--Matthew 2:18

Kelsey