Oh, the agony!!! The pain! The accursed betrayal of Gonzaga!!! Yup, that’s right, folks, I’ve cast my lot into March Madness NCAA basketball. I did a great job predicting the DC/Minneapolis side of my bracket—thus far, only four of my picks have been wrong. But the Atlanta/Oakland side has been my undoing.

I have to reserve the hottest heaps of criticism for my tournament darling, the Gonzaga Bulldogs. I confess right now that I am a total dupe for the men of my home state. In high school, every single August, I thought to myself, “Maybe this year I’ll finally have a boyfriend.” And those Washington men always let me down. Same thing with college. And now that I’ve found myself a life partner (in Kentucky) and all I ask of Washington men is that they WIN a major sporting event once in a while, they can’t seem to manage this one simple task.

The Mariners had the best record in baseball a few years back—slaughtered in the first round of the playoffs (and now they’re in the AL West cellar). The Seahawks make it to the Super Bowl this year, and I think, “A Seattle team might actually win a championship???” And then they don’t. And now, when I put it all on the line for the Gonzaga Bulldogs, staking my competition with David AND my office pool on them taking the national title, they choke???? When I went to bed last night, they were up by 10 in the second half!! And I wake up this morning to find out that they lost by two??

Even worse, they have to lose to my Grandpa Rice’s beloved UCLA Bruins, a team I’ve mocked since childhood. This just adds insult to my injury.

Of course, the Washington Huskies (who let me down against the Louisville Cardinals in last year’s tournament, by the way), are up against Connecticut tonight. And all I ask of them is that they lose, since that’s what I predicted in my bracket. But because they’re Washington men, I’m sure they’ll win just to spite me.

Now THAT, my friends, was mean-spirited : ).

As I read over all the things I just said, by the way, I realized that many of you probably don’t have any clue about how the NCAA tournament works. So I will give you a brief synopsis, so that no one can make you feel stupid when it comes to talking about March Madness.

Basically, what we call “March Madness” is the national championship tournament in college basketball. There is both a men’s and a women’s tournament, although even I am guilty of paying more attention to the men. Sixty-four teams enter the tournament, playing in six rounds of single-elimination (meaning that if you lose a game, you’re out) over three weekends.

A little glossary of terms… the “Sweet Sixteen” are the sixteen teams left in the tournament after the second round, and the “Elite Eight” are the eight teams left after the third round. And of course, the “Final Four” are the champions of the four regions, the ones left after playing the fourth round. Making it to the Final Four means you’re one of the best teams in the country, and is an honor highly coveted by all. Of course, the winners of the Final Four games play for the national title.

Even lukewarm fans of college basketball, like me, derive great pleasure in filling out “brackets”—basically predicting who will win what games, and competing with others to see who can predict most accurately. Points in your brackets are awarded if your team wins, ranging from one point per team for a first round win to six points for the championship game. Of course, I can’t get those six points, because I said GONZAGA would win the national championship. No, no, I’m not bitter… but I’ll probably be duped again next year.

Sorry about my rage-filled sports rant… enjoy today’s outtakes from our Laurie and Essie interview!

“And if the same person sins against you seven times a day, and turns back to you seven times and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive.” --Luke 17:4

Kelsey