We’re thinking a lot these days in PresbyLand about a new vision for the life and ministry of the church, and after receiving an e-mail this morning, I know who should take the lead. Did you know that “Britney Spears” is an anagram for “Presbyterians”? Perhaps this is a sign from God that we should solve our financial woes and membership problems by signing an endorsement contract with the pop princess. If she can sell Pepsi, why not Jesus and John Calvin?

Two separate meetings I attended today highlighted why we might need some help from Britney. First, I was called to a meeting with the Presbyterian Leadership Search Effort, or PLSE. Apparently, there is great consternation that only 334 people were ordained to ministry of Word and Sacrament in 2004, despite the fact that right now we have 2840 inquirers or candidates for ministry (sorry about the incomprehensible Presbyterian jargon, folks). So to translate that into everybody language—even though 2840 people are interested in being pastors, in 2004 only 334 actually signed up to do it. Plus, something like one-third of congregations don’t have pastors. So we need more pastors.

Or maybe not. The average debt of someone who graduated from seminary in 2005 was nearly $33,000. Now, it should be said that many of the congregations who don’t have pastors are small, and can’t afford even the average maximum salary of a beginning solo pastor—a little less than $30,000 per year. I don’t know about you, but if I were $33,000 in debt and was offered something like $30,000 per year for my graduate-level professional training, I’d be thinking about a slightly different career track, too.

Still, PLSE is here to help us develop leaders for the denomination, in part to rescue us from our membership crisis. After chatting with them for a while, I went on to hear about proposed changes in PresbyLand that will affect many of us.

One of our main governing groups, the General Assembly Council, has busily been at work reshuffling and rearranging itself to reflect the church of the 21st century. The council wants to equip and empower ministry at the congregational level through focusing everything on four goal areas: Evangelism and Witness, Justice and Compassion, Spirituality and Discipleship, and Leadership and Vocation. Within those, there are a set of eight particular foci, like poverty, families, and small churches.

One of the depressing things about being one of the cogs in this giant wheel known as the Presbyterian Center, though, is knowing that if your work doesn’t fit into one of these categories, well, chop-chop.

Not to say that I don’t think the general idea of restructure isn’t a good one, if it is done well. It is obvious to everyone that the church needs to follow the movement of the Spirit in renewal if we’re going to maintain our relevance in contemporary times.

In fact, in a moment of channeling Ann Crews Melton’s anarchist spirit, I thought, “Why not just throw out the whole hierarchy and decentralize?” And then it occurred to me that this is what the Presbyterian Church is doing, in some sense. I see it in campus ministry all the time—individual churches develop large and powerful collegiate ministries while the denominationally-supported ones grow old and die.

This decentralization tendency might not be all bad… that is, if a renewed spirit of cooperation and trust between churches accompanies it. I read something a while ago that suggested that smaller churches could have full-time pastors if large, wealthy congregations were willing to help out in footing the bill. If only isolationism and self-interest drive the dissolution of our national Presbyterian hierarchy, then it won’t be good for any of us. If decentralization means a renewed emphasis on partnerships and cooperation at the local and regional level, with resources from those of us here in PresbyLand, then perhaps our “connectional church” will actually thrive through change.

Or, as an alternative, the General Assembly Council could hire Britney Spears as their spokeswoman, reap oodles of money from her benefit concerts, and hire a bunch of pastors with the interest accrued (oh yeah, and not cut our programs, either). I think the Southern Baptists would let us have her.

“O give thanks to the Lord, for God is good, for God’s steadfast love endures forever.” --Psalm 136:1

Kelsey

I can't believe it, but you're right about the anagram! I'm Presbyterian and have nothing against Britney as a person, but I'm very serious about my music, and I would DIE before I put Britney Spears in my list of favorite artists. There's got to be some kind of DaVinci Code conspiracy behind this....