My friends, what would the average workday be without the morning commute? It is this visceral, life-and-death struggle to get to your workplace every morning that tells you you’ve arrived in the real working world. This may not be something you college students understand yet, but you will, young Padawans, you will.

This morning, as the ‘Stang and I sped down Interstate 64 at approximately 70 mph (15 mph over the posted limit—a good commute day, obviously), I saw a guy in a red Geo Metro actually shaving. Luckily for all of us, he wasn’t going as fast as I was. I’ve heard stories like this, of course, but I’ve never actually seen it for myself. When I gave tours at the dam, I worked with a former Washington State Patrolman. He told me that you would be amazed at the things people will try to do while they’re driving… from the innocuous to the obscene.

To navigate the commute, you must learn certain skills of weaving in and out of backed-up traffic as you figure out which lanes are moving most quickly (if traffic is really bad, you’ll have plenty of time to consider this). This may require you to listen to radio reports, as well as be aware of your environment regarding freeway onramps and off-ramps. Of course, you must be unfailingly polite as you do this, making sure to never cut another driver off. Always smile and wave, too—that helps.

Actually, certain members of the Coordinating Committee will tell you I am a bad driver. They are wrong. I am a good driver. My only true driving flaw is that I tend to make very fast decisions sometimes, and then inform passengers of those decisions in a very sudden manner.

Example: Kelsey and students from the 2004 Leadership Event are driving down the freeway in Los Angeles back from LAX. Kelsey realizes that she is about to miss her exit, does a head check, and then stomps on the gas to cross three lanes of traffic as she yells, “We’re gonna do it, folks!!!!” No one is in immediate danger, of course, because Kelsey signaled to all the other drivers of her impending lane change. Yet inexplicably, they all grab their handlebars and look as though they are cheating death.

I used to talk to my mother on the cell phone during my morning commute. I had a bad habit, though, of telling her when I was going to run yellow lights. I would shout into the phone, “Oooh, I’m running it!!” as she pleaded on the other end of the phone, “No, Kelsey, no!!” Then I’d say, “Ah, I made it” as the ‘Stang and I sailed through the light and on to another adventure. I don’t think Mom likes to ride to work with me anymore.

Again, let me point out that I am not a bad driver. I’m not even an aggressive driver. I’ve always been afraid that Sheena Simmons is going to ruin my reputation to the point that the church won’t let me rent cars anymore. But really, I’m just one more driver who has honed her survival skills in the jungle that is the morning commute.

“But the Lord is faithful; God will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.” --2 Thessalonians 3:3

Kelsey

PS-- Now before my mother’s cautions rain down on my head, and all my relatives start telling me over Christmas dinner this year that they’ve heard about my lead foot, I’d like to point out two things: 1.) I-64 in Louisville is the only place at which I speed like that, since you only see law enforcement on that road when they’re passing you, and; 2.) I still have never been pulled over. So there.

Maybe you shouldn't announce that you are about to do some questionable driving manuver before you do it. Maybe you should just do it and make it more fun for your passengers. People like surprises.