Good news-- the poster's block is over. Maybe the dentist's drill this morning woke me up enough to write.

Or maybe it was the cover of the February 21 issue of Newsweek that I got in the mail last night that read, "The Myth of the Perfect Mother." Fascinating and disturbing articles, chronicling the intense pressure mothers today feel to be perfect mothers, wives, and workers all at once-- and how it is robbing women of their sense of self. Judith Warner says, "Nine hundred and nine women in Texas recently told researchers they find taking care of their kids about as much fun as cleaning their house, slightly less pleasurable than cooking, and a whole lot less enjoyable than watching TV" (44). Women, whether they're stay-at-home moms or working professionals, are being killed by this rat race of perfection.

Okay, okay, so most of us reading this aren't mothers right now. So what does this have to do with us? Well, when I meet young women in my work, one of the greatest concerns I hear lies in how to balance family and career. Of course, that is rarely a concern I hear from your male peers, but we'll leave that for another day. If that is an important question for you, though, what does it mean to read in Newsweek that regardless of your choices, you're still likely to lose your self-identity in your attempts to meet the demands that your families and society place on you in childrearing?

It is up to us to demand our own space for spiritual renewal, and to demand help from those around us—partners, our community, and the larger society—as we witness to the lives of balance that God calls us toward. The Ten Commandments say, “Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy” (Exodus 20:8). Are women really keeping the Sabbath when they rush from home to work and back to their homes to get dinner on the table, have the house cleaned, and spend quality time with the kids? Are women really keeping the Sabbath when they don’t work (a luxury that many working class women don’t have anyway), but spend their entire day speeding through a maze of playgroups, ballet lessons, soccer practices, and after-school enrichment programs?

The issue here isn’t whether you should work or stay at home if you have children. The issue lies in the sin of elevating society’s expectations above God’s commandment to rest. You cannot hear the still, small voice of God when you run from one activity to another all day, only to collapse in bed at night exhausted. Neither can your children, for that matter. You have to take time for yourself.

You can’t have Sabbath without help, either. The article I read argues that corporate policies need to be more family friendly, and affordable, high quality day-care should be more readily available through government standards and subsidies. And partners must take equal responsibility for the developmental and emotional well being of their children, as well as of one another. Yes, I’m talking about the emergence of “soccer dads,” men who tuck their daughters in and read them bedtime stories while Mom takes a bubble bath and relaxes. I think about the time I spent with my own dad as a kid, playing catch out in the backyard. I have no idea what Mom was doing while we were out there, but I’m sure she enjoyed the time to herself. More importantly, I now cherish those valuable moments where my father and I developed a relationship that has continued beyond his death.

So I encourage you, in thinking about the future, to prioritize your relationship with God and your spiritual well being. You may have to ask for help—in fact, others should help you. But if you take care of the spiritual first, ultimately you will be a better mother, a better partner, a better employee. And you’ll be a more joyful person.

“For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and consecrated it.” -- Exodus 20:11

Kelsey